I recently saw a post on Facebook with a caption that read “What screws you up in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”

I ended up sharing it on Facebook, thinking yes I can relate to that. And, I think many of us can. How things are supposed to be, what things should look like, how our life is supposed to turn out or how our lives should look to others, etc.

I work with families every day that try to maintain that picture of “what should be” when dealing with a loved one’s addiction. They are embarrassed and ashamed, as well as angry and just plain tired. They try to maintain that perfect picture of “what should be”.  I can tell you that I’ve been there. I’ve done that. It doesn’t work.

It’s hard when you are in the middle of the firestorm to give that perfect picture up. Sometimes you feel like it’s all you have to hold onto. You think if you can maintain that perfect picture for yourself, your family and friends that it will be ok. It doesn’t work.

What I can tell you is that at least from my experience that it is ok to give up that perfect picture in your head. It’s ok to be brave enough to find another picture, one that isn’t so perfect, but maybe one that allows you to sleep a little better at night, have a little more peace in your heart and one that allows you to move forward in your life to paint a new picture, one that YOU design, one that becomes “perfect” for you.

— Desiree Susinee, Marketing Director at Welwynn